He�s a really good man.

(Dear God, thank you for that �get out of jail free card� you threw me with the last marriage. He was a decent guy but the wrong guy, and boy, were those a crappy six years of my life. Lesson learned, clearly. Love, Me.)

When we first started dating, I knew that Blue had his own business, but from what I knew about it, it was, you know, fair-to-middlin� in terms of money. I assumed it�d make a bit of money, but that my financial contributions to the household would be substantial.

Honestly, it wasn�t until we were engaged and talking about finances more that I began to realize that not only was he successful up to that point, but the future was looking pretty excellent in terms of financial security.

He never flaunted his success � he drove a used car, his furniture was all second-hand, and he didn�t talk about money.

I was shocked to my toenails when he handed me a ginormous diamond ring and asked me to marry him. (I wasn�t shocked about the �marry him� part � I was shocked about the ring.) And I said yes before I saw the ring � the minute he handed me the box I said yes. �Don�t you want to see the ring?��

�Well, sure, but yes!�

And then I opened it and I was speechless.

You know, it was a doubly nice surprise to find out that he was financially pretty stable, with a good-looking future. It wasn�t necessary � I didn�t set out to trap me a rich husband - because I had even said at one point during our courtship that I would be happy to �support us� if he wanted to �go back to school or something.� That must�ve sent him off chuckling � I don�t really know.

Anyway � it�s not like the man fell into a pile of money or something � he earned it the hard way. And he continues to do so.

Every morning he gets up between 5am and 6am, pours his coffee, either eats a quick breakfast or takes it with him, and heads for his office. He starts working that early (which, to me, is ungodly and warped � but, you know, different strokes and all that. Just don�t ask me to start working at 6am and we�ll get along just fine).

He works until noon or 12:30 � then he either comes home for lunch or goes out for lunch.

Then he works until 5 or 6 pm.

Then he does a little more work from home.

So it�s clear that he works really, really hard.

I try to support him as much as I can. If I were working full time in my old career, I�d be making about 1/8th of what he brings home (forget what he leaves in the business, which is also all his). If I were working full time in my new career, I�d be making about half that. So my little part-time wages are, well, totally insignificant to the household. (I have a feeling that he considers my little oncology nursing job more of a hobby � heh.)

So obviously my financial support of the household is � minimal.

I do what I can otherwise to make sure his life is good. Right now I am pretty much as house-wifey as they come. I do all of the housework, and I don�t for one second begrudge that role. (Yes, even with one master�s degree and a second one to pin on the wall at the end of this year, I have no problem being the one who scrubs the toilet on a regular basis.) I do all of the cooking, which admittedly isn�t as much as it should be. (Sorry, hon. I have no interest in food these days � the pregnancy thing really threw me for a loop. Cooking is difficult when you don�t care what you eat because nothing really sounds good. I�m hoping this gets better after the baby comes along � who knows. It may always be my one deficient area.)

Lately Blue has been on a diet � in the past four weeks or so, he�s lost about 15 pounds. Very proud of him.

I�ve been hauling my ass out of bed in the mornings when he does (that�s sometime between 5am and 6am � ugh ugh ugh) and I make him a bag of healthy snacks to take to work. I don�t make him a lunch because he wouldn�t eat it � he likes to get out of the office for lunch. So I do the best I can to make sure that he�s got yummy, healthy snacks to munch on during the day when he gets the urge.

I did that this morning � sent him off with a sack of snacks and a kiss � and now I am still awake. I hadn�t done a nice, long journal entry in a while so I thought I�d do that before going back to sleep and catching FOUR MORE HOURS of sleep. Heh.

Interestingly, I spend a lot of my time thinking about other ways in which I could support him more. I don�t know � I tend to be an overachiever. If writing a ten-page paper will get me an �A� in class, I�ll write a twelve-pager just to be sure. That kind of thing. So I�m sure if you asked Blue if he gets enough support from home, he�d say he absolutely does. But even so � I want to do more for him. He�s the kind of guy that you want to do more for. And if I could think of other things to do to make his life around here easier and more comfortable, I would.

Not just because he�s the one making the money. (Although that�s quite a nice little perk. Especially with the baby coming, and I know I can stay home and not worry about it.) But because he loves and supports me in countless ways, too � every day. He constantly worries about me � is everything okay for me? Do I have what I need? Am I happy? Do I need another backrub? Would I rather go out to dinner than cook tonight?

It�s nice, this marriage. We occasionally have rough patches � who doesn�t? But even our roughest rough patch hasn�t been so bad. And the rough patches have made us stronger and closer. I can honestly say that my rough patches with Blue have been better than my best days with the ex-husband. That's saying something.

I�m a little worried about what life is going to look like when the baby comes. Because I�ll still want to give everything I can to Blue � and of course the baby will take a lot of my time and energy. Hopefully it won�t be too hard to strike a balance there.

One of my friends has been struggling with issues with his wife (to the tune of �I think she doesn�t love me anymore.�). They�ve been married about nine years and have a daughter. They were also high school sweethearts, so it�s been years and years of togetherness. One of his last emails wistfully said, �Having a daughter is going to be great for you and Blue. They�re wonderful. Just don�t forget that the love the two of you have for each other is what got you into this whole �kids� mess � keep that in the front of your mind.�

Good advice, friend. I plan to.