I�m not bummed about it, since it�s the first time in at least 10 days that I haven�t been able to sleep through the night (after getting up and peeing five times).

I�ll just plan on a nap tomorrow afternoon. Of course, that would be the plan anyway, regardless of whether I am awake right now (4am) or not. The idea of a nap warms my heart, no matter what my current sleep status is.

Not sure why this whole baby-making thing makes me so tired. (Well, possibly it�s the whole thing about my body�s resources being used to create life in another human being, added to the up-five-times-a-night-to-pee thing. Possibly. Or it could be that I�m just an inherently lazy person and any excuse is a good excuse to nap.)

One of my dogs and I started Remedial Training for Retarded Dogs yesterday. He�s a delight and mostly well-trained in the house, but when I take him out amongst the people, he�s a raving lunatic. I can have him sit, stay, down, shake, wait, come, cook me some eggs, and do the crossword puzzle for me in the house. Out of the house, well, I can�t get him to walk in a straight line.

Turns out �

According to the behaviorist who is helping me deal with my issues �

EVERYTHING we do around the house gives the dog the idea that I�m not in charge here � he is. The way we handle food, toys, grooming, eye contact � all of these things reinforce that hey, whatever dude, go for it.

Apparently he listens to me in the house because, well, he�s weird. He shouldn�t really pay much attention to us at all. Because apparently he thinks he�s head of the pack.

So Remedial Training for Retarded Dogs (my initial thought) has turned into Remedial Training for Retarded Owners. Because the darned dog has pretty much done what I�ve told him to do � Please, just walk all over me and help yourself to the rewards, Mister Pooch.

Greeeat.

The only thing that gives me hope for being a decent mother to the 17 week old fetus in my belly is: the dog is a different species, who responds to different cues and instincts than people do.

So there�s a small chance that I won�t fuck my child up like I have apparently fucked my dog up.

Of course, un-fucking-up a dog is pretty easy. You just stop what you were doing that was wrong, and do the right things. Take his power away, and he�ll fall in line.

Un-fucking-up a human is difficult, time consuming and sometimes (just rarely) impossible to do.

So I really want to do things right, not screw �em up from the starting gate.

Did a little maternity clothes shopping yesterday. Bought one skirt (that I�m actually still in doubt about, because it�s a little too flowery for me, but it fit and it looked good and I need SOMETHING other than the three frigging pairs of pants I�ve been wearing, especially for church and other dressier occasions). Got four tops � one t-shirt (don�t get me started on why �maternity� t-shirts, with maybe 20% more material in them, cost more than forty fricking dollars apiece), and three versions of dressy tank tops. Officially I have enough pretty summery tanks to get me through the rest of the summer in Texas, as well as a few long-weekend-style vacations in the next few months.

I still need more t-shirt type clothes, but NOT from the fancy schmancy maternity stores. I�m going to try Old Navy tomorrow.

I also need one nicer pair of summer-weight pants � those will probably have to come from one of the mall maternity stores.

Oh yeah, and I�ve grown out of every single bra I have, and even the shelf-bra tanks I have are getting tight. (Hello, boobs, please stop growing. Please. I beg you. I don�t care what my husband tells you � getting that big is really not necessary � we have plenty of means to feed the baby now, so back OFF.)

Hopefully I will have the energy to tackle that little bit of shopping tomorrow, before the overwhelming need to nap kicks in.