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"In this tempestuous, havoc-ridden world of ours, all real communication comes from the heart."

- Etty Hillesum

May 09, 2007

Tired!

My back is killing me. My physical therapist is sending me to another physical therapist for an evaluation. "I don't know everything," she said. "And I'd rather make sure that you are getting the best treatment, and I think I'm doing everything that can be done, but you never know. So go get an eval with this other therapist, and we'll see if we can make any more improvements."

That's an awesome, ego-less therapist. But it's kind of discouraging that my back is hurting so badly and the etiology is such a conundrum that I'm being sent to another practitioner "just in case they can figure it out."

Sigh.

Blue is going out of town again. I'm tired of his trips. He's been gone a lot lately. I didn't sign up to be a single mom ... this sucks. Not only do I miss having someone to hand the baby to in the evenings when he's gone, I also just miss his presence. I always feel like half of me is missing when he's gone. Like I'm walking around in a fog, waiting for something but I can't remember what I'm waiting for.

Ugh.

Not to mention that it's a long day with a baby when there's no one to hand her to at the end of the day.

I sound down. I'm not, really. I'm just tired. Tired of hurting, and tired of being tired. I'm tired to the bone.

Blue asked what I want for Mother's Day. "I want to sleep in. I want to take naps. I want SLEEP. Don't buy me anything. Just let me sleep."

Let's hope he listens to me.

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Last Few Entries

Back? - November 10, 2007
Just a break. - June 19, 2007
Caddy day in the pool. - June 05, 2007
Sleep! And sleep, and sleep! - June 01, 2007
Happy days are here again ... - May 30, 2007

� More about Etty Hillesum, the woman in the photo.�