My parents came over last night to have dinner with us. They brought us our first baby gift. I�m six weeks, three days pregnant. It�s a little soon for baby gifts. But they�re excited that things are going well (so far) and who can blame them? They�ve watched us ride the trying-to-conceive rollercoaster since 2004 � this will (hopefully) be their first grandchild. So it�s nice.

The gift was the silver baby bowl and spoon that have been in the family since 1917. Grandma, Mom, my sibling and I have all used it. And now I get to feed Chip with it. How sweet. But who uses sterling silver? Seriously. Too funny.

But I can�t also help but feel jinxed. Argh, people, I haven�t seen a heartbeat yet! Don�t put the cart before the horse. When you do that, bad things happen.

Of course that�s silly. There�s no jinxing out there. One is not related to the other. And the baby will be fine or it won�t on its own merits, not because Mom gave me the heirloom bowl and spoon.

That hasn�t stopped me from being a total freak about today�s ultrasound, though. What if we don�t see anything? What if it�s a blighted ovum? What if we see something but something is wrong � slow heartbeat, weird shape, horns and a tail (I will blame Blue for that last one)? What if there are twins? What if everything is fine and I end up really having this baby?

I know it�s only been about three weeks since I�ve known that I�m pregnant � but like I said before, until I get to at least 28 weeks, I have this ugly feeling that I�m going to continue to be anxious about everything. Dang. That�s just not a good thing.

Trying to relax. To know I can�t control anything, here. It�s going to be what it�s going to be. Aaaaaaah, all so much easier said than done.