Actually, those of you who are fertility challenged will believe it. The rest of you may wonder if I�m off my rocker.

I�m sitting in my Reproductive Endocrinologist�s waiting room.

You know, they�re smart enough that they know all of the doctors run at least 45 minutes behind schedule every day � and they�re smart enough to install free wireless internet in the waiting room. So here I am, sucking up some free bandwidth, typing up an entry.

I�m actually early for my appointment � something I try to avoid since I know I will be waiting way too long anyway � but I was already down here for another reason and there�s nowhere to go except here. Not to mention that I have a laptop and they�ve got wireless, so, zing! Here I am.

Blue and I went to our first marriage counseling session on Wednesday. What a trooper that guy is. Not only did he not fight me on it when I said I wanted to go, he really seemed to look forward to it. Not that it�s like a trip to the candy store or anything � but he said to me twice, �I�m really glad all of this came up, and that we�re going to see Dr. Leo Marvin*.

What came across to me loud and clear throughout the session was this: No matter what our issues are (and everyone�s got them), Blue and I can work them out. Not only can we work them out, but we will work them out.

So I feel pretty good about things, considering.

I saw my own therapist today (Jesus, it sounds like I am a psychological wreck, and really, I�m not). She tries her best to inject reality into my brain whenever possible. And she met my bubbly enthusiasm about our marriage counseling and my/our problems with the following:

�You know, the first 30 days to six weeks of this kind of counseling is great � they even call it �the pink cloud,� because there�s a high that comes from beginning this kind of work. But you need to know that at some point, you guys will hit a wall, hard, and that�s when the good part comes. When you hit that wall, the real issues come out, and you can grapple with the things that make a difference. It�s also really hard, it brings up a lot of pain, and you�ll have to be there to support one another.�

Thanks a lot, Dr. Sunshine!

No, actually it�s a good thing to remember. Just because it might feel like things are starting to go backwards doesn�t mean they actually are. Quite the opposite, in fact.

So there ya go. A little sign on the side of the road that reads, �Rough road ahead.� Fortunately, you always know that the rough road is limited. Otherwise, there�d be a �No Outlet� sign there instead.

* note the reference to the smash 1991 movie What About Bob?, starring Bill Murray as Bob and Richard Dreyfuss as Dr. Leo Marvin.

I have no other news. Actually, that�s not true.

Apparently, both of Blue�s employees are assholes. Because the one whacko one resigned, the rescinded her resignation, then resigned again. And the second one emailed his resignation this week. EMAILED it.

Sigh.

This means that I will need to be traveling with Blue in the middle of April to do the things that the idiot resignation-emailer was supposed to do.

So I�m sitting at my doctor�s office, ostensibly to get my �baseline ultrasound� done for our frozen embryo transfer.

But what I�m really going to do is ask the doc if he will allow me to travel while pregnant.

(I�ll wait while you stop snorting and laughing. Because yeah, the scenario assumes I will get pregnant from this little $2200 endeavor. And we all know the chances of that are not as high as they would be if I were eighteen years old and in the backseat of Blue�s Mustang convertible.)

Done laughing?

Yeah, so we have to plan as though we are going to be pregnant. And he needs to say �Yes, you can travel after you become pregnant with this embryo transfer.� And then we�ll go ahead and do this crazy thing. Otherwise, I think we�ll have to wait a few weeks.