The baby is winning the bottle fight. Her last holdout was six hours. Sheesh. We are taking a force-the-baby-to-take-a-bottle break. Because it was stressing everyone out.

The other thing is that she went from sleeping well to not sleeping well. Which means, of course, that I went from being rested to not being rested at all.

Blue goes out of town on Monday and I�m mad he�s leaving. Wet hen mad. Hopping mad. Really really really mad mad.

I see my first surgeon on Monday. Looks like I might be in for a double surgery � the first doc to reconstruct the an@l sphincters and the second doc to reattach the left pelvic floor muscles back where they�re supposed to be. Apparently I am walking around with muscles that aren�t attached. Oy.

SOOOO not looking forward to this doctor visit on Monday.

I feel like a bad Mom. The baby is fussy enough that I�m starting to wonder if it�s diet related (my diet). So I read up and the general consensus is that I ought to try cutting out dairy to see if that makes a difference.

Only you have to give it up for at least two weeks � and have you TRIED to give up dairy? Seriously, it�s in everything � and it�s certainly in everything tasty. No milk, no cheese? Umm � yeah. Good luck. I might give up dairy next week. I�m having pizza tonight. See? I�m a bad mom.

So that�s why I haven�t updated lately. Not sleeping. Mad. Still in pain. Grr. Oh, and if I'm perfectly honest, I'll admit that I'm actually slightly looking forward to having surgery because it means I can sleep in my own bed, in my own room, with no husband or baby to wake me up. In fact, I'm planning on asking the doc to figure out a way to keep me an extra day or two, because, damn, I need a break. Isn't that sad?