Way back before all of this fertility stuff started � about a year ago � I weighed 135 pounds. It was a good weight. It suited me. It fit me well.

After my first surgery last July I shot up to 145 and never really got below that. I retained a ton of water after that first surgery, and lost it really slowly. By the time I was losing the water, I was taking so many hormones that I was gaining fat.

So then with the whole pregnancy thing, with all of the excess hormones in November and December of 2005, I ended up weighing about 153 pounds.

Two weeks ago I knew the pregnancy was going to end, and I knew I was feeling like crap. So I started exercising a whole lot. As of Tuesday (the 17th) I weighed 147 pounds. This was good � I was under the 150 mark, I was back in size 10 jeans, and feeling pretty good about myself.

Now, today, three days after another abdominal surgery, I�m putting water on again. Today, I weigh 161 pounds.

That�s right � I�ve gained 14 pounds in three days. All of it is water, of course. But man, do I feel like crap. And I look like crap, too.