��
|
"In this tempestuous, havoc-ridden world of ours, all real communication comes from the heart." | ||
- Etty Hillesum |
|||
January 16, 2006 |
|||
It's ectopic. Or, it was ectopic. |
|||
Well, well, well. You think you know what�s going on with your current (doomed) pregnancy and then BAM, you get blindsided. On Wednesday, the doctor did an ultrasound and couldn�t find anything. That isn�t terribly unusual, because my hCG numbers were so low, he shouldn�t have been able to see anything. But given the date of conception (known practically to the minute with the whole IVF thing), he should have been able to see something. A sac, an embryo, and a heartbeat. So he was certain that things were not right and that I would probably miscarry as soon as he stopped my supporting hormones. I stopped taking the estrogen and progesterone supplements on Wednesday, and went back in for a blood test on Friday morning. At 3pm on Friday afternoon, my nurse called. �Your hCG numbers are still going up. That�s not good. That means that the pregnancy is ectopic, and you run the risk of a ruptured fallopian tube. We need to take care of this today.� Take care of it. Meaning � inject me with methotrexate, a chemotherapeutic drug, to kill the developing embryo. Because it�s in the wrong place. I thought there was nothing worse than �letting me miscarry on my own.� I was wrong. I was sent to the lab for STAT bloodwork. Then I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up methotrexate. Then I had to go to the doctor�s office. When I got to the doc�s, we had to wait a few hours. They had to check my bloodwork before they could give me the methotrexate. Thank goodness that Blue was with me � I would�ve gone nuts if I had to do a two-hour wait plus two injections by myself. We finally got the go-ahead to do the shots � and the nurse came in, took care of it, and we were allowed to leave. The rest of the weekend was (thankfully) uneventful. I�ve started spotting and cramping � my body is now doing the work it needs to do to finish off this pregnancy. Honestly, I never thought I�d be relieved to be at the end of this ordeal � but I am. I�m glad it�s going to be over. I�m sad, of course. I�m devastated. But we�ve known for a few weeks that things are not good � and I�m just glad that the end is in sight. On a positive note: as soon as my hCG levels drop to zero, I will start back on the pill. Oh yes, it�s ironic � in order to get me pregnant, I�ve got to do a month on the pill. Once I�ve hit my next period, we start the hormones and get ready to transfer some frozen embryos. Whee! There�s hope � and hope and hope and hope. New life in the future. It�s going to work next time. |
|||
� | |||
� |
Last Few Entries |
||
� |
Back? - November 10, 2007 |
||
� | |||
� More about Etty Hillesum, the woman in the photo.� |
|||
� | |||
|