This morning I woke up and walked into the living room and found a CRAZY amount of doggie diarrhea by our front door. Fortunately, it was mostly on the ceramic tile in the foyer � (although it was also on the wall � it had splashed all over the place � ugh!). It had been totally liquid but must�ve happened in the middle of the night, because by the time I found it, it was all dried.

I honestly didn�t know whether to laugh or cry � or throw up. The stench could�ve gagged a maggot. I mean, oh, the poor dog. It was awful.

I stood there stock-still, totally unsure how to even start cleaning it up. I was paralyzed. I�m not even sure what words were coming out of my mouth � a lot of �oh my God oh my God oh my God� and �ugh ugh ugh� and �what in the world am I supposed to use to clean that up?�

Remember that today�s my due date. I�ve got about 25 extra pounds that I�m hauling around right now. When I bend over to pick up a pair of shoes, I grunt. And I have trouble breathing unless I�m upright.

So after I grabbed some supplies to start cleaning and got on my knees, the sounds out of my mouth were a combination of grunts and groans and some retching thrown in for good measure.

I haven�t cleaned up a mess like that since I worked in the hospital and had a patient who � oh, nevermind. You just don�t want to know.

Poor dog.

Poor ME!

(Took the dog to the vet, just to be sure that there was nothing more serious than a puppy stomach bug happening. If today wasn�t the due date, I probably would�ve let it go another day or two � but I needed some peace of mind that he wasn�t going to get worse. $250 in testing and medications later, he seems to be on the mend. Sigh.)

Yet another good �on the day you were born� story � except it seems that no one is going to be born today!

Still about the same, contractions-wise.

No baby today, I predict.

Hmm.