These two men are both wielding very loud tools. They are both concentrating very hard. They are both steam-cleaning. One is doing my carpets. The other is doing my tile.

I AM SO HAPPY!

I just peeked in on the tile guy. Oh.My.God. The grout is white (well, off-white)! I had no idea the grout in the tile in my foyer and master bathroom was (off-)white! I thought it was supposed to be a dingy gray, bordering on brown.

I am delighted. I am so happy. I am overjoyed. I am ecstatic.

It doesn�t take much to make me happy. Clean tile and grout � oh my God. I am over the moon.

The carpets are looking spiffy, too. I knew they would. This makes me happy, too. Not as happy as the tile and grout, though. Because I�ve never paid for the tile and grout to be cleaned before, but I have paid for the carpets to be cleaned so I knew what to expect.

I just peeked in on the guys and, holy cow � I forgot that I had them clean the loveseat and chair in our front room. These are the two pieces of furniture that, for better or for worse, the dogs have chosen as their regular bedding. And now � now, they�re being cleaned. Begone, doggie hairs. Begone, rawhide slobber. Begone, weird brown streak of something I don�t even want to guess at.

HA!

Clean, clean, CLEAN!

This is the best high I�ve had in a long time.

Saw my therapist today. She had some insight into my family weirdness from a few weeks ago.

She pretty much said what I think I figured out after I talked to my sister about the whole thing.

It�s not about me. The issues that came up, the problems that my family members were having � pointing the finger at me was a convenient excuse. But really, it�s not about me at all. It�s about what they�re going through, and their feelings, and their expectations.

And I�m happy to hear that. And to hear that from someone who is an outside party, who has given me lots of good insight over the last five years � well � I feel TONS better now.

I�m going to take care of Blue, and the baby, and me � and not worry so much about the rest of the family for a little while. That�s what I�m supposed to do. That�s what new moms are wired for. And that�s my plan.

Speaking of taking care of me � have I mentioned that Blue does a pretty good job of that, too?

A few months back for my birthday he gave me a gift certificate to go to the local spa and spend the day in a state of total relaxation. I saved it until this week, because he�s out of town and I knew I�d be feeling a little sorry for myself and lonely. (I had no idea that I�d catch such a high from having the tile, carpet and furniture cleaned � I could almost save the spa day!)

So on Thursday, courtesy of my One True Love, Blue, I get to be pampered in the following ways �

1. An 80-minute prenatal massage
2. A 50-minute facial
3. A 60-minute pedicure
4. A fabulous spa lunch including their really fantastic frozen yogurt (skip the lunch, let�s mainline the yogurt)
5. Plenty of time to relaaaaaaaax in between treatments