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"In this tempestuous, havoc-ridden world of ours, all real communication comes from the heart."

- Etty Hillesum

May 24, 2006

Superficial me.

Wow, I really haven�t had any motivation lately. This pregnancy is really sapping all of my energy. The baby is about an inch and a half long at this point, and wreaking more havoc on my body than I ever thought possible.

I�m really happy, although I probably haven�t been acting like it. I haven�t been sleeping well, I haven�t been eating much, and I�ve been cranky.

But all of that is hormone-related (I think), and so I�m not letting it bother me. I don�t have the energy to do much, but I�m content. I�m content to sit out by the pool. I�m content to take three naps a day. I�m content to watch some daytime TV (an extremely unusual thing for me).

And the good news is:
No more estrogen pills � and
No more progesterone shots!

(The �eh� news is that the progesterone shots are being replaced by progesterone suppositories � what a mess.)

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Several weeks ago we had some really powerful storms come through. Our gazebo, several plants and some of our deck furniture decided to commit suicide by jumping in the pool. The plants and furniture, with time and some intensive care, lived. The gazebo, unfortunately, was DOA.

So last weekend we purchased a new gazebo (sturdier!) and put it together. It was about 95 degrees out and it took us more than 4 hours to put it together, most of that time spent laboring in the sun. I alternated between nearly passing out every time I stood up and nearly throwing up every time I sat down. Needless to say, Saturday was the one day this past week where I was decidedly NOT happy and really was cranky as hell. Poor Blue didn�t stand a chance � I wasn�t very nice to him that day.

The new gazebo looks really awesome � it�s way better than the old one. Slightly bigger, our 6-seater outdoor table and chairs fit nicely under it with plenty of extra room. It has mosquito netting so we can stay out at night � and it�s definitely sturdy.

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This week I have also watched the pool get drained, ripped apart, and refilled � twice.

We have a pool/spa combo � the spa is at an elevated height, above the pool, and they connect via waterfall. There�s a ton of tile on the wall that they have in common, plus a lot of tile around the inside of both the spa and the pool. Don�t know if that description makes sense, but there�s a lot of friggin� tile on the pool.

Recently (November) a bunch of tiles fell off of the spa wall, and our gorgeous oasis pool paradise started looking more like the pool at the Beruit Hilton. Very bombed out. This didn�t bother Blue at all, but bothered me a great deal.

I only had to complain for six months before he called the pool guys to come fix the tile. (Now, for all of my complaining about my pool�s tile, let me say that I�m very grateful and delighted that I have a pool. I realize that we are very lucky to not only be able to have a pool to begin with, but also to be able to afford to fix it when it starts looking like the War Zone Pool. Lest you think I am a total ungrateful woman, let me assure you I am not. However, I�m also really annoyed that all of the money we are spending these days is to fix or replace things � it�d be far more fun to spend our �fun money� on something fun, like the vacation we were going to take but is now paying for the new pool tile.)

Anyway � unfortunately, the old tile was not salvageable � and unfortunately, the old tile was not match-able.

So we had about five minutes with a catalog that had teensy eensy little pictures of tile samples to make a decision on new tile for the one wall where the tile was missing. There was no near match, so we picked a tile that was sort of multicolored and looked like it had hues of the old tile in it. We figured, hey, we�ll make the spa stand out, it won�t look bad.

Erm � hmm.

Let me suggest to you that if you�re ever in the situation where you think that you can have two types of pretty-much-non-matching tile side-by-side and have it look okay, you take a moment to re-think that decision.

Because let me tell you � the pool looked even worse, if that�s possible. The new tile didn�t match the old tile at all, and I cringed every time I looked at it.

It took us all of about ten minutes to decide we needed to rip out the rest of the old tile and finish re-tiling the entire freaking pool. (A decision that cost 4x the original tile work. Ouch, that smarts.)

So last week the first work was done. We refilled the pool (not having yet made the decision to redo the rest of the tile) and had a pool-filled weekend.

Then yesterday the pool guys came back, emptied the pool, and ripped all the rest of the old tile off.

Today, they put about 2/3 of the new tile on.

Tomorrow, they finish. By Saturday morning, we�ll have a completely retiled, refilled, swimmable, beautiful pool again.

And now let me sound ungrateful again, even though I�m not. I certainly will never speak the following words aloud: if I had any inkling that we would end up retiling the whole dang pool, I never would have picked that �replacement� tile that we did. We only picked it because we thought it might match the old stuff. It wasn�t a first choice, by any means. And I slightly resent it. (Yet, since I�m so good at sitting on the fence, I�ll also say that it looks really good, and even though it wouldn�t be my first choice for a whole-pool-retile-job, it is worlds more beautiful than the old tile and the Beirut Pool. So I�m not that disappointed. Really.)

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So you see, my life this past week has been filled with philosophy, the pursuit of higher thinking, meditation, charitable works, and selfless servitude.

Or not.

But I am starting to feel better. The queasiness is slowly starting to subside. My body is slowly starting to produce its own hormones. I�m working out a few times a week with my personal trainer. I�m taking it easy. I�m giddy in love with Blue, who has been my rock. My new dog isn�t peeing on the carpet as often as she used to.

Baby Catnip (who is now 10w5d) and I are doing well.

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Last Few Entries

Back? - November 10, 2007
Just a break. - June 19, 2007
Caddy day in the pool. - June 05, 2007
Sleep! And sleep, and sleep! - June 01, 2007
Happy days are here again ... - May 30, 2007

� More about Etty Hillesum, the woman in the photo.�