As a na�ve gal newly trying to get pregnant, I was full of innocent smugness regarding getting (and staying) pregnant.

After several failed cycles and then the ectopic pregnancy, people who had lost babies came crawling out of the woodwork � and each story was more horrific than the next.

So every time I tell someone, �I�m pregnant!� I make a mental note (�ok, going to have to remember to tell Sara if something goes wrong�).

I don�t have a doom and gloom scenario in my head. I don�t feel like, �Oh my gosh, I�m going to lose my baby.� But at the same time, I�m having a hard time NOT thinking, �Don�t get too excited. Anything could happen.� I spend my free time thinking about the little human being growing inside me, and how neat it will be once that person is here. I don�t over-analyze every twinge or weird feeling I have, as if I am anticipating a miscarriage around every corner. Mostly.

My 24/7 queasiness went away over the past few days � at first, I was delighted by it. Then, slowly, it made me more insecure. I�m 9w1d pregnant � it�s too early for those hormone levels to be throttling down so much that symptoms should subside.

I�ll admit that I spent a good 15 minutes worrying about what it all means for the baby.

Then, toward the end of yesterday, the queasiness came galloping back into my life. I welcomed it with relief (and a little regret). Now I know I should�ve enjoyed that 36 hours of queasy-free living. I should�ve eaten whatever I wanted. Now I�m back to, �Food? No, thanks.�

Have I explained my work situation?

Since I�ve been in graduate school, I�ve been working part time. But it�s VERY part-time, and not regular from one month to the next. I work on an as-needed basis for my clinic � that means that one month I�ll work two days a week, the next month I�ll work one day a week, the next month I�ll work 5 scattered days � it�s all dependent on what they need from me and what I want to take on. It�s nice. It�s really cushy. I can�t complain. Plus, the work is fine. The patients are great. My coworkers are AWESOME. And the docs are decent.

I worked two days in a row this week � hadn�t been there since I did my embryo transfer at the end of March.

Everyone there (they�re all doctors and nurses and medical people) pretty much knew we�d been trying and trying and trying to get pregnant. Plus, even though I�m only scheduled to work once in a blue moon, that day seems to coincide with everything that goes wrong, in-vitro-wise, so I�ve called in sick on more than one occasion for fertility-related-issues.

When I called my manager to discuss my hours, I told her that we were pregnant. She was delighted. She was so delighted, apparently, that she told EVERYONE!

Which was fine. Except I wanted to tell them. So when I got to work this week, I had at least 20 people coming up to me and hugging me and touching my tummy (eeeew, does that ever get better, or will that always freak me out?) and telling me congrats.

One of the people who came up to me to tell me congrats said something about, �We�ll have so much fun being pregnant this summer.� Turns out she�s pregnant and only 3 weeks ahead of me.

I can�t tell you how excited I was to have a pregnancy buddy, right there at the office. We talked about our little bellies, and our morning sickness, and our crazy grouchiness at different times of the day � it was awesome! She put her arm around me and said, �We�re going through this together!�

I didn�t know her very well (still don�t), except to know that she�s a nice woman. I�ve had pleasant interactions with her, but no real meaty conversations.

But the two days I was there this week were fun � we kept seeking each other out to compare notes or just check in with each other.

She�s more high-risk than I am � she�s 42. She�s going to have the amnio and the CVS and all of the genetic testing that makes me squeamish. This isn�t her first child, so she actually knows what she�s doing. But it doesn�t matter that we�re different in those ways � it�ll still be fun to have someone so close to my due date to compare notes with.

In education news �

Today I spoke (separately) with the two nurse practitioners I work with about my current education predicament.

Both of them recommended a few options I hadn�t thought of � and gave me names of people to contact to learn more.

Options include finishing with my master�s now, and then doing a program at a different school to finish the advanced practice component. There are even online programs that are pretty well-respected. And both of my NPs said they would support me as much as they could through the process.

So I feel a little better about that.

I am going to talk things over with my advisor at school next week � throw a bunch of ideas at the wall and see which ones stick.

And I�m going to stop worrying so much about it. I�m going to have a baby! That�s going to be the focus for a while � and that�s the way I wanted it.