I am delighted that I feel like I�ve been hit by a crosstown bus. Let�s face it, I really never thought we�d get to this point in a pregnancy � we�ve been trying to conceive since 2004 (not very long in IVF circles, but long by any other standards). We�ve had enough failed cycles and surgeries that I just always assumed it wasn�t really ever going to happen.

So I�m delighted, you know. Absolutely over the moon.

I�m just bummed because I was supposed to meet up with two people while I was out of town � one old friend I�ve known since about 1994 but haven�t seen since 2003, and one whom I�ve never met but we�ve been diaryland buddies since we both started our first journals in � what, 2001? (Hi, Jenistar � sorry we didn�t get to meet!)

I�ve been referring to the baby as �Chip.� The reason: I read the other day that the baby currently weighs about as much as one chocolate chip. Last week it was �Spot� (when we felt like referring to it as a boy) or �Dot� (girl).

Had bloodwork done yesterday and everything is totally hunky-dory. We�ll have an ultrasound on Monday and at that point we�ll be able to see a heartbeat. Wow!

I�m in that �holy cow, there�s a *person* growing inside me� phase. That �it worked? It really worked? Um, so does that mean we can�t change our minds now? I�m scared to death!� phase.

Blue is hanging in fabulously with the whole pregnancy thing. I think it�s all still pretty abstract to him � he�s not the one getting queasy every few minutes, so he�s bound to be a little slower on the �it�s reality� uptake. I hope seeing the heartbeat on Monday really solidifies it for him � he should enjoy this time as much as I want to.

I�m thinking about taking the summer off from work. Need to make a decision by Monday so I can call my boss. Everyone tells me I should � it�s the �last alone time I�ll ever have,� according to my best friend, my mom and my primary care doctor (Dr. Puppy). I really like the job, though, so I�m not sure whether or not I really want to do that. Maybe I�ll work one day a week. Hmm. Dunno � guess I could work one day a week and if that doesn�t work, I could stop.

There�s another thing I�m grateful for � that Blue and I are blessed with a life where I only have to work if I want to. That we don�t have to worry about the money. And that I have a job where I can pretty much come and go as I please right now. Believe me, I don�t take it for granted. I am grateful, and blessed, and thankful.

I hope that Dr. Fertiligenius tells me I can go back to working out this week. I miss my personal training sessions. I refuse to get all huge and blimpey with this pregnancy � I will stay in shape. It�s better for me, it�s better for the baby. So there�s no question about it.