That wouldn�t be so bad if: (1) the progesterone weren�t suspended in oil, and (2) the dosage weren�t equal to an entire cc of viscous fluid getting forced into my muscle tissue nightly.

Honestly, it doesn�t hurt that much. I have a system.

• I draw a bullseye exactly where Blue needs to jab the needle in. (I rotate cheeks, and I move the bullseye slightly each night so that the shot is never in the same place twice).


• Then I put an ice pack on my ass for about five minutes, while I slip the vial of medication in my bra to warm it up. (I swear I�m not making this up.)


• Once the oil is warm (makes it runnier, and that�s a good thing when you�re forcing oil into muscle), I draw it up in the syringe and change needles (don�t want stingy medication on the outside of the needle when you jab it in, or it�ll hurt worse).


• I then take an ice cube and do about 30 seconds of ice massage on the bullseye.


• I call for Blue to �come get ready!� while wiping the dripping water off of my bum.


• I hand him an alcohol swab so he can cleanse the area.


• I hand him the uncapped syringe.


• I tell him, �don�t forget to give me a 1-2-3.�


• He gives me a 1-2-3, then jabs the needle in. About 10 seconds of pushing to get the fluid in, and then he pulls the needle out.


• I hold a gauze over the spot to stop any bleeding.


• I put all supplies away until the following evening.

It�s a good system. I�m a little nazi about it, though, because hey, this is my tender ass we�re talking about. About one shot in seven actually aches a bit � I don�t even feel the rest. I�ve heard some women�s horror stories about awful, painful shots every night and I thank my lucky stars that for whatever reason, my system works.

Tomorrow night (oh, crap, I�m writing this entry at 3am, so I guess it�s really tonight) I�m going out to a concert with a friend of mine. She�s also a nurse, and she�s going to have to give me my shot in the bathroom of the events center.

I am concerned about this.

I like my routine. And I like Blue � he�s a better shot-giver than at least 75% of the nurses who have ever jabbed needles in my body.

So I sent her an email last night, warning her that I�m really OCD about my shots, and not to take it personally when I give her, a nurse, very strict instructions on how to do it.

Heh heh. I predict that she�s going to get offended. I predict her response to my instructions will be, �I know. I know. I know.� I will do my best to soothe ruffled feathers and just keep telling her, �It�s just because this is about the only aspect of this whole frigging process that I can control � this is why I must control it!�

Hopefully the friendship will stay intact.