After the ectopic was diagnosed for sure, and the methotrexate/lap/d&c/sledgehammer stuff was done, I decided to stay off all of the sauce (except for alcohol) � because it was hard to give them up, and I didn�t want to deal with that again.

I made a mistake this week. I drank two cups of high-test coffee, on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings.

Wednesday night and Thursday night I had two of the worst bouts of insomnia I have had in a long, long time. The wide-awake, go run a marathon, read the entire paper, watch some TV, cook a meal, then come back to a warm bed and still not be able to sleep kind of insomnia.

So last night I took matters into my own hands, chemically speaking.

I took an ambien (my last one � sob � I�m a drug hoarder, I got an Rx for 10 ambien about a year ago � I saved the last one until I NEEDED it), I took a vicodin (still having pain and wondering if it�s a contributory factor) � then I crawled into bed.

And I woke up ten hours later. Rested. Alert. Ready to face the day.

AAAAH.

Thank GOD. Thank Cthulhu. Thank the Universe. Thank the Biochemists. Thank the Pharmacy.

Now I swear I will stay off the caffeine from now until after the next baby ordeal is overwith. There is no way I want to deal with this crap again.

And Go Me, being all optimistic like we�ll actually get pregnant and have a baby and have some sort of end of this �ordeal.� That�s optimism, the likes of which I haven�t felt in ages.

(Oh, and I had an interesting typo that I fixed, above: I was trying to type embryo, and it came out �embryoyo.� Why, if that isn�t the most Freudian slip of the fingers in recent memory, I don�t know what it is.)