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"In this tempestuous, havoc-ridden world of ours, all real communication comes from the heart."

- Etty Hillesum

January 29, 2007

My fussy update.

So maybe the grape-flavored Zantac is a bit easier for the baby to swallow. I�m just not sure it�s really doing the trick.

Honestly, she still gets her �owie� periods � generally after eating. And maybe they�re slightly less severe � but it still seems like she�s hurting after she eats. I�m wondering if it�s gas, or even a really mild colic.

In any case, she definitely seems to be a high maintenance baby. When she�s awake, she�s fussy. She has a few periods each day of quiet, happy alertness � and after that she fusses until she either eats or goes back to sleep. It makes me a little sad � I wish she were a bit happier all the time. Maybe it�s still the �I�m a newborn and don�t know what I need yet� thing � I hope. I just hate to see her upset.

She has begun smiling a lot at us � which is just delightful. It happens in those �quiet, alert�periods of the day, usually in the morning. And her smile just lights up the whole room. She�s so beautiful. I wish she were like that more of the time � I really hope she grows out of her fussiness.

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I go back to the OB tomorrow to check up on my progress. There�s still a bunch of swelling � SIGH. That means she won�t be ready to refer me out to a specialist yet � there�s no way she�ll refer me until the swelling is completely gone.

SIX WEEKS after delivery and I still have a ton of pain and swelling. You know, that�s just not supposed to happen with childbirth. I�m more than a little annoyed.

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I should be sleeping right now, because the baby and Blue are sleeping. But I�m getting some stuff done. You know � laundry, dishes, fed the cats, cleaned the litter boxes, took my maternity clothes out of the closet and put them in the upstairs closet � that kind of thing. Plus this journal entry � I haven�t had time to do one of those in a few days.

I did take about a half-hour nap when she first went down � but then the phone rang and I woke up and I knew I wouldn�t really be able to get back to sleep. You know you�re adjusting to sleep deprivation when you start to get insomnia!

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Okay, so I�ve never really been much of a TV watcher. I was hooked on The West Wing, and was sorry to see that go. I watch ER regularly. And this season I got into Studio 60 (Bradley Whitford � aaah).

Right before the baby was born I downloaded Seasons 1, 2 and the first half of 3 of Grey�s Anatomy to my video iPod, having never watched a single episode. That show rocks! I blew through most of Season 1 during labor and the first few postpartum days. Then I did Seasons 2 and all of 3 until the present while nursing the baby.

So the next show I downloaded was Conviction, a DA-crime-courtroom show. Apparently it was canceled after one season. But I have to say, Season 1 was good.

So I moved on to Desperate Housewives � I�m currently on the third show of Season 3. That means I�ll be caught up with that in a few days. I�m quite enjoying that show � the characters and the dialogue are excellent. I�m surprised � I didn�t think I�d like it, but I really do.

Now I need to find my next show. Clearly I�m into soap operas with humor � and I�m not sure what I should watch next. Preferably something that has more seasons rather than fewer � I hate getting attached to characters and stories and then having them disappear on me when I run out of episodes to watch.

Is it weird that I watch my video iPod while breast feeding? The baby is on the breast about every 2-3 hours during the day, and she usually takes 45 minutes to an hour at each sitting. Although part of that is her using the breast as a pacifier, she seems to need that much time to just hang out on the breast. That�s a LOT of time during the day to just be sitting there. I don�t really want to plunk in front of the TV � I don�t want HER to be stimulated by it. I can�t use my computer (too bulky), and I haven�t figured out how to read (no way to hold a book).

I don�t know what other moms do while breastfeeding � I just watch TV shows to keep from falling asleep! I never thought I�d be a TV person � I�m just not that into it, usually. But my brain isn�t very fit on this much sleep deprivation, so doing anything more strenuous won�t work out very well.

Hmm.

More later � the baby is starting to cry!


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Last Few Entries

Back? - November 10, 2007
Just a break. - June 19, 2007
Caddy day in the pool. - June 05, 2007
Sleep! And sleep, and sleep! - June 01, 2007
Happy days are here again ... - May 30, 2007

� More about Etty Hillesum, the woman in the photo.�