And apparently Rodrigo, who �din�t know nothing �bout no fancy toilet seats� could be bribed with sixty bucks to install my bidet toilet seat on company time.

I guess it wasn�t that complicated, because he did way less than $60 worth of work to get it installed.

And now I have a warm water wash, a heated seat, and a weird butt-blowdryer that is really neat but also freaking me out when I use it because I�m not used to having my rear gently blown dry.

And now I�m going to hell.

I just lied to a Brownie. Not the elf-kind, the kid-kind. You know, a Girl Scout wannabe?

She rang my doorbell and asked if I wanted to buy cookies �

�I�m sorry, I already bought some! But good luck selling!� I said with a smile.

Then I closed the door and realized I�m probably going to hell for lying to that sweet little girl.

I just can�t handle sweet little girls right now, nor the Moms who have them. But now I know the name of the lady who lives at the end of the street � the one with all of the unruly children.

Listen, the whole fertility thing may end up moot anyway ... I booked us on a helicopter tour of the Grand Canyon on Saturday while we're in Vegas.

If you hear of any chopper fatalities over the weekend, rest assured it's me. I have had the worst luck lately, and I'm sure it will continue and taint every area of my life, not just the fertility part.

I'm not going to worry too much about the drinking and the methotrexate, as I was warned in my guestbook. I'm almost 2 weeks out from the mtx shot, and my liver function is fine.

Plus I'm a cancer nurse and I'm used to giving toxic doses of the stuff to my patients ... as my fabulous fertility doc said, "Hey, the amount I'm giving you is so low your oncology docs would scoff at me. Lemonade would be as effective at fighting cancer as this dosage of mtx. Don't worry one bit."

So hey, I'm not worrying one bit.

This is the guy who, after telling us we were definitely going to miscarry, finished up with, "And you're off of all of your restrictions now, too, so if you want to get drunk and have sex all night, have at it."

At least the doc is a hoot. God knows how awful it would be to go through all of these invasive treatments with a doctor who's got a stick up his butt.

Probably no update until after Vegas. I'm going to concentrate on fun.