"In this tempestuous, havoc-ridden world of ours, all real communication comes from the heart."

- Etty Hillesum

November 10, 2007


Life has totally kicked my ass since that last entry.

I fell and ripped open my hand in August, prompting a trip to the emergency room and several days that I couldn't take care of the baby. I fell to pieces emotionally and I think this is when I really started sinking.

I weaned the baby (unwillingly, but it went well) so I could have my surgery, only to have it postponed twice. Now scheduled for January.

I had two bouts of gastroenteritis. I was down for four days the first time (literally could not get out of bed without vomiting) and was down for three days less than two weeks later. I begged my husband to drive me to the emergency room, I felt so bad. He didn't - he knew I was really okay - but I hit even closer to bottom.

My pain has gotten worse, not better. And I have had enless dealings with crappy doctors and an insurance company who would really rather keep their money (who can blame them?) than pay for that damned doctor's mistake.

I have been sinking and sinking and sinking - I'm officially depressed. I feel like shit.

Hi! Welcome back, Lucy!


I think I'm going to start a new blog somewhere else. Don't know - I know I am just not into this place anymore.

Missed you guys, though. Just didn't have the time or oomph to write. But I feel like if I don't start writing again, I'm going to lose myself.

PS - Blue is great. He has taken nothing but wonderful care of me (mostly). Baby Catnip is great. She is brilliant, beating all of her milestones and keeping me totally on my toes.

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Last Few Entries


Back? - November 10, 2007
Just a break. - June 19, 2007
Caddy day in the pool. - June 05, 2007
Sleep! And sleep, and sleep! - June 01, 2007
Happy days are here again ... - May 30, 2007


  More about Etty Hillesum, the woman in the photo.